So you don't like the "other side of the walls on your house"

5th April 2005

this was originally on another blog, which the baby of which was my idea, and then an artistic difference happened, infact my partner in crime hadn't read this yet but I told him is read differently, but have a look at it anyway

ok so you established that you dislike the other side of the walls on your house, this strange area is known as the "outside", we will be using this term alot throughout this guide.

so you don't want to go "outside". first thing to do is get your hands on a broadband connection and a computer, preferably laptop for optimun use of you space.

this will allow you to order eveything you will ever need without having to speak to "other human beings". this is another important term. the delivery person doesn't count. you can order takeaway food, alas this be only a quick fix and you need to plan ahead, so order "proper food" like vegetables and fruit, very good for you, especially if you wont be walking too much.

second thing is sell things on internet auction site, but for pickup only so you never have to post things and therefore meet "other human beings" while going "outside" simple, also a good way to make an income.

The best way to get some money coming in however, is to write a few novels and keeping trying to get them published. (reclusive novalist could work in your favour, they might htink you are eccentric and either a mad man or genius, both types of people write books)

oh and get a tv, radio and a dvd player, but if you were clever in the first place you would have got a Laptop with dvd player, crazy fool. infact, have the radio and tv still incase the laptop dies. but you can always ring in IT support if the worst were to occur

so that is food, money and entertainment

the thing is I personally don't mind going "outside" but only for the following activities

going to the pub
going to a resteraunt with a person I already know,
going to the GFT, on my own,
going clubing in a decent nightclub, not an indecent one
going to a gig of a band I think is good

jobs I am prepared to leave the house for

DJ-ing
and maybe radio show presenting, but you can really do that in your own house after you save up.

jobs you can do in your own house

IT support, after you have established your career in IT, save up and connect your laptop to the network and work from home

Novalist

writer in general paper

sex phone operator

samaritan, (though it isn't paid I once spoke to a samaritan up in the shetlands, long story)

musician, though if you want to sell records and you are not famous already, you might have to go out and do a few gigs

hairdresser, you get the social aspect and you may never leave your house, unless the pub beckons.

website owner,. you can make money by selling advice on the net, some people will buy anything.

expert, these people appear on radio programs, get a specialised subject, send out emails, posing as an agent and when the specialised subject is up for discussion, ie reclusiveness, you get paid to talk on air, yes not all experts get paid but there is a good trick to acting like it is a big hassle to be there and that you are doing them a favour. it's a sneaky one. I am a student at Glasgow University (for example)

And now we have an expert from glasgow University, Allie, hello Allie, what is you opinion on this.

ok usually the person is a lecturer or head researcher of the philosphy department, but it still holds.

script writer, you can send these out, great way of pissing people off actually, I just sent 50 yesterday to five different people, the same script. heh heh, I don't expect money but we all need light relief after this hard work making money.